Jokes!!

How bad is the teacher?
He’s so bad he makes the chalk bored.
He’s so bad he gives aspirins a headache.
He’s so bad, his students compare test snores.

Meet the world’s toughest teacher
How tough is she?
She sends other teachers to the principal.
She grades students on fire drills.
Her tests are tougher than the roast beef in the cafeteria!
Math Problems
Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk:

10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound
4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound
2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound
2 bars soap at $.83 each

"How much does that come to?" asked Larry.

"Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents."

"If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?" said the boy.

"Seven dollars and sixty-four cents," stated the clerk who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.

Larry said, as he disappeared through the door, "I don't want to buy the item...that’s our arithmetic lesson for tomorrow, and I needed some help with it."
Would you please move your cars?

It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may being plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."

Geography Class
Teacher: What is the axis of the earth?

Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves.

Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line?

Student: Yes, Sir.

Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes?

Student: Imaginary clothes, Sir.


By Phillip S. (MS1)